Olympic Shocker: Sacheen Littlefeather Announces That Michael Phelps Will Not Accept Gold Medal

BEIJING - Apache activist Sacheen Littlefeather appeared at the Olympics awards ceremony for the men’s 200-meter individual medley to announce that swimming phenom Michael Phelps would not accept his gold medal. 

Ms. Littlefeather proceeded to read a lengthy speech Mr. Phelps had written protesting the mistreatment of Native American competitive swimmers: “Mr. Phelps regrets to inform you that he cannot accept your medal.  For 200 years we have said to the Indian people, ‘Lay down your arms and join us in the swimming pool, my friends, and we can swim together in peace.’  But when they laid down their arms, we murdered them . . . .”

Host Jon Stewart tried to interrupt Ms. Littlefeather, and the Olympics orchestra started to play in an effort to stop her, but Ms. Littlefeather continued, noting various purported massacres of Native Americans on diving boards.  

Several Chinese officials perked up when they heard the word “massacre.” 

“Pay attention,” one excited high-ranking official nudged another. “Michael Phelps wants to massacre somebody!”

Aug 15

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