Pope Concludes World Youth Day by Announcing He Will Canonize Steve Irwin

SYDNEY - Pope Benedict XVI concluded World Youth Day ceremonies by announcing to a crowd of over 400,000 that he would return to Rome to begin the canonization process for the late Steve Irwin. 

Mr. Irwin, a zoologist who dedicated his life to preserving and protecting the lives of animals and the planet, was one of Australia’s most beloved public figures. He was killed by a stingray while filming a television show in 2006.  The stingray remains at large.

“Steve was a wonderful human being,” said the Pontiff.  “I spent many hours thrilling to his television adventures, and I was always entertained.”

The Pope said the standard three-miracle minimum to achieve sainthood would not be a problem for Mr. Irwin.

“I’ve seen Steve stick his face in a hornet’s nest, reach his hand into a rattlesnake den, and playfully tickle the belly of a grizzly bear, and he emerged unscathed each time.” 

The Pope added that he sees many similarities between Mr. Irwin and another Roman Catholic saint known for his devotion to nature, St. Francis of Assisi.  “Interestingly enough, St. Francis was also known to exclaim the word ‘crikey’ whenever he was excited.”

The Pope was scheduled to have dinner with Australian film star Paul Hogan last night before leaving for the Vatican.  A spokesman for the Pope said the Holy Father is “a big fan” of Mr. Hogan’s Crocodile Dundee movies, and has committed numerous bits of dialogue from the films to memory.

Jul 22

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