Obama Plan Will Garnish Allowances of Boys 8 and Up to Fund Child Support Obligations They Will Owe As Adults

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Barack Obama, the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee, unveiled a sweeping plan that will eradicate “future dead beat dads” by garnishing the allowances and wages of all U.S. boys ages 8 to 17.  The monies will be used to fund child support obligations the boys will incur when, as adults, they divorce and lose custody of their own children. 

Under the plan, every boy will be required to set aside a sum of money based on a sliding scale that will increase each year.  An eight-year-old will be required to pay $200 annually; a seventeen-year-old, $2,500.  Any boy who fails to make the required payment will be jailed for up to one year.

Obama said the plan is the centerpiece of his domestic policy “because I don’t have any sons,” and because it ”will help me win over Clinton supporters.”

Under the plan, if, at age 55, a man who has paid into the system does not owe child support obligations, the garnished monies will be used to fund research for ovarian and breast cancer “or some other appropriate charity for women.”

The National Organization for Women applauded the plan but said it does not go far enough.  NOW wants to impose on every teen male a $40 per occurrence tax on nocturnal emissions to fund women’s domestic violence shelters.  Sen. Obama said the proposal “is under consideration.”

Jul 17

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