Vatican Approves On-line Voting for Sainthood; Veterans Committee Selects Pope Piux XII for Beatification

VATICAN CITY - In a bold moved designed to make the canonization process more fan-friendly, Pope Benedict XVI announced today that the Roman Catholic Church would soon begin on-line voting for sainthood.

The Pontiff broke the news at his weekly press conference.  He explained that on-line voting would not be the sole factor in the elevation of the faithful to the firmament but merely a part of the process that involves prayer, contemplation, investigation and the guidance of the Holy Spirit. 

“Our research indicates that today’s Catholics are yearning for an opportunity to become more involved,” said Pope Benedict.  “We thought this would create a little more buzz, so to speak, about canonization.” 

The Pope added that for a limited time, paper ballots will be left in pews worldwide to accommodate older Catholics uncomfortable with cyberspace.

In a related matter, Pope Benedict explained that a beloved predecessor, Pope Pius XII, had received enough votes from the Veterans Committee to grant him beatification, which is the final step before canonization. 

“I can’t tell you how happy I am about that,” said Pope Benedict.  “Pius XII was a Pope’s Pope.

Some historians have dubbed Pius XII “soft” on Nazism, derisively referring to him as “Hitler’s Pope.”  Pope Benedict said the criticism is unjustified. “I happen to know he hated Hitler’s guts. He used to call him ‘that little creep with the goofy moustache.’  You could look it up.”

Jul 16

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