CHICAGO – Sen. Barack Obama, incensed over The New Yorker magazine’s cover illustration portraying the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee and his wife as radical Muslim terrorists, has issued a fatwa against the magazine’s editors and the illustration’s artist, Barry Blitt.
The fatwa states: “Even if the New Yorker editors and Mr. Barry Blitt repent and become the most pious men in this or any other age, it is incumbent on every Muslim to commit his life, his wealth, his entire being to insure that they are sent to Hell, Allah willing.”
Obama rejected the explanation of David Remnick, longtime editor of The New Yorker, that the cover was intended to be satirical. “That is not satire,” Obama rejoined. “Satire is me winning the Democratic nomination. So I know satire when I see it.”
The Obama campaign staff issued a press release explaining that from now on, Obama will not merely renounce people with whom he disagrees, he will issue fatwas against them. The next fatwas to be issued will be on the lives of comedian Bernie Mac and all noncustodial black fathers.
Feminist supporters of Sen. Hillary Clinton applauded Obama’s rebukes of both the satirical magazine cover and comedian Bernie Mac “since it shows Obama may be humorless, like us.”
Michelle Obama did not immediately return a call for this story. She was preparing for a suicide mission in a mall frequented by white people.