WASHINGTON, DC - The CIA revealed that John McCain and the other members of his platoon, including Captain Bennett Marco, pop singer Frank Sinatra and Academy Award-nominated actor Lawrence Harvey, were brainwashed by the Communists while they were prisoners of war in Vietnam in a plot designed to overthrow the United States government.

Sinatra blew the lid off the plot when he reported a recurring nightmare in which McCain killed two members of the platoon with cold-blooded malice.

After an investigation, the CIA determined that the Communists brainwashed McCain to act as a sleeper agent. Communist agents would use a Queen of Diamonds playing card as a trigger to force McCain to obey their commands. McCain’s domineering mother, actress Angela Lansbury, directed the entire plot. Ms. Lansbury, the CIA said, has been working closely with the Communists for 40 years, even while starring in the hit CBS television series “Murder She Wrote.” Ms. Lansbury planned to force McCain to assassinate high ranking government officials so that she could install a pro-Communist in the White House, a so-called “Manchurian candidate.”

While she was being led away in handcuffs, a defiant Ms. Lansbury taunted CIA officials: “What took you so long? I would have had the entire crime solved in less than an hour, commercials and all.” Mr. Sinatra said he was “relieved” that “the Lansbury broad” was thwarted. He added that “they just don’t write songs like The Way You Look Tonight anymore.”

 

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