“Nutball” Finally Recognized as Olympic Sport

Nutball, the sport popularized by the MTV television series Jackass, was recognized as an official Olympic sport yesterday, just in time for the summer games in Beijing. Nutball requires between two and twelve players to sit on the floor facing each other with legs spread apart. Players taks turns tossing a ball at opponents’ testicles.  Players are eliminated when they can no longer withstand the pain.  The last player remaining wins.

The sport achieved widespread popularity on U.S. college campuses starting in the late 1990s, but most Nutball teams eventually fell victim to the Federal Title IX’s elimination of thousands of men’s sports teams in the interest of achieving gender equality. Many colleges tried to field women’s Nutball teams but quickly found that the games never ended because no players were ever eliminated.

In an official statement, the Chinese government welcomed Nutball’s inclusion in the Olympic games and lauded the “refreshing spirit of sadistic torture that sets this highly amusing sport apart from the typical dull Western fare where no one gets hurt.”

May 29

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